our daddy, our hero, the man that always was there has passed away. he fought the good fight and with little flare he slipped away silently into the night on Wednesday. his passing was know surprise to any of us, i know he's in a better place and his suffering has ended. still losing a loved one is hard. I miss him so much!!! he was the greatest father a girl could ask for!!!! the best grandfather a grandchild could ask for!!!! he will be for ever missed and loved by his devoted family!!!
I LOVE YOU DADDY...................

dad

 

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happy thanksgiving

happy thanksgiving to all. we all have many things to be thankful for...most of all our family!
Dad has been on his roller coaster ride for a while now. good days bad days and mostly sleepy days. mom did get him to laugh the other day. I have to say he looks soooo tired. It scares me sometimes.....he's weaker and today his breathing is labored. I don't think any of us are looking forward to the holidays...bad things happen to dad on the holidays....one thanksgiving he cut his fingers almost off and we ended up in the E.R., Christmas he had a heart attack. new years eve we found out about the cancer, Easter his lung collapsed, and Shannon's 21st birthday he ended up in the hospital for 5 weeks. Holidays scare us...................
moms hanging in there. she tired and run down.....wont take any help and is stubborn as all get out!!! Not eating right, not resting, not listening to us!!!! Now she has a nasty chest cold..... mothers, they never listen LOL
we love you all and thank you for your love, prayers and support. (and if you think you can get mom to listen to you, call and tell her to take care of herself!!! =-)

sleepy days

shannon fell asleep with grampa

mom watching over dad as he sleeps

long days, short nights

it seems this last weekend was a turning point for dad. He has pretty much lost his appetite, sleeps alot more, is having a hard time talking, and swallowing is becoming more difficult. he still is very emotional. we all continue to stay close.
As many of you know, mom received a grant from season hospice for 28 days (and we thank them greatly for that), dads 28 days have come and gone. Besides giving Seasons Hospice a great big thank you for the grant we also have to give the Veterans Association a big thank you as they have stepped up and given dad an additional 33 days of paid care at Hospice. It's amazing with all the insurance mom and dad have, that insurance from one of the 3 insurance companies wouldn't cover the cost of the BED at hospice. They all cover the CARE but not the bed....strange...again a big thank you to Seasons and the Veterans Association for covering those costs. one less thing for mom to worry about.

we have a mystery on our hands and if anyone can solve it mom would appreciate it.....Mom arrived home from seeing dad Sunday afternoon to find a very nice meal left for her on the back porch ( she ate it all by the way, said it was very good) however no note was left and she doesn't no who to thank. so if you no of the mystery person let us no =-)

below is pictures of Shannon and Jake's new tattoos they got this weekend. They are in honor of grandpa. The hauger kids ( Kristie, Kelly, and Jeremy) are thinking of getting the same thing.

It is from the poem " Foot prints in the sand"

DAD

Well some sad news the nurse at seasons hospice think dad has had another TIA (mini stroke). He has all the signs, getting weepy, confusion, change in personality. They were going to call the doctor today. they have had to call mom many nights this week because he was either crying or combative. Tuesday night they called around 10pm and i went out and spent the night. he wants to come HOME.
They called again early this morning because he was upset. I told mom I would go so she could rest. When I got there he was crying. He doesn't want to be left alone for any amount of time. He does calm down pretty quickly when someone gets there. Mom has decided she needs to be there 24/7 now. I think Liz, Shannon, and I are going to have to figure out a way to get her home for breaks though. She'll end up wearing herself out!
Dad told the nurses this morning (before I got there) that he was dying and there was no sense in giving him his pain medicine and they should save it for someone else...isn't it just like him to be thinking of the other patients and not want to take medicine from them. He's still that goof ball we all love. ( he did finally take his pain meds)
If you stop by and he seems overly weepy or irritated keep in mind its probably just the TIA (mini stroke). Hopefully it will get better soon. I hate seeing him cry and not be able to do anything about it.

our "dad" routine

well we were always a close knit family, but dads illness has brought us even closer. I think we have finally got a routine down for keeping family with dad...early mornings are my time with dad, if mom hasn't stayed over night (which she's doing more and more) she comes around 11, on Shannon's days off she trys to get up there mid afternoon, and Lizzy comes late evenings. When Jake comes home on weekends he's up there along with Darrick and Liz's husband, Warren and son, Jeremy. With other family members filling in when they can. We have been trying not to double up to much, because to many people in the room seems to confuse dad more.
Now you see we have a routine but all it takes is a call from one another to throw it off and we all scramble to be there for dad ... and each other. I can only speak for myself...I'm getting tired. I haven't talked about being tired to alot of people but I did have a good talk with Darrick about it. the tiredness isn't coming from being with dad it's coming from the guilt I and I'm guessing Liz ( of course she's the sensible one out of all of us girls) feel. If I'm not up with dad I feel like I'm letting him or mom down. When I'm with dad I feel like I'm letting Darrick and the kids down. Of course Darrick told me not to worry about them, but the guilt still stays with you ( if only I could be sensible like Lizzy =-).
Enough of my rambling ( which is SO easy to due on here!!!) Dad had a roller coaster week. good days and bad, sometimes both in one day. He's tired, been asking to go home, having more pain, and been very emotional. Mom has stayed over night many nights this last week. The good thing is the nurses there make sure she eats. She looks tired/worried. There's been days that dad is so clear it's almost scary and then days that... WOW what happened. Saturday night he thought we had gone gambling and then we were staying at a hotel. He was concerned that the bed was to small for him and mom to sleep in.....if all this wasn't so sad it would be humorous.... love you all thank you for all your support and visits. Dad really does enjoy them.

dad

well dad is hanging in there. truly enjoying all the company. he still is confused, mornings are much better for him. still gets emotional which sends the rest of us into tears, still wants to know when he gets to go home (more tears). The hospice doctor was around last Friday and unfortunately only mom was there. he gave mom some very confusing information...he told her that his heart was good for ..him, his lungs were good for him... but he could go in a day or two weeks so if we leave at night stay close to our phones...well you could imagine that put poor mom into a tizzy. I'm not even sure if that info makes sense, it sounds like alot of (excuse my language ) bull shit!!! nothing like talking in a GREAT big circle. mom has calmed down and we all have told her that we don't know whats going to happen, every day is different. he has really good days and really bad days. personally i think that doctors a dumb ass, what a dumb shit thing to say!!!! we all continue to stay by his side as much as possible and hold his hand, which he loves!!! so if you stop by say hey and grab his hand. love you all!!!!!!!!!

the light switch effect

let me explain the title. dad seems to be like a light switch this week. monday morning the light was on....he was chatting away pulled himself up to a sitting postion and just looked over all good. darrick and i left around noon, he had lots of company that day and everything looked so good. i really thought if he continued on this road we could bring him home soon. then the light switch clicked off.....mom left around 5pm and was called back to the hospice house around 630. dad was confused and irate. mom ended up spending the night and not leaving until the next afternoon. Liz and I took over at 330. by then he had calmed down but was still confused. he did finally eat a little supper and fall asleep. he slept thruogh the night with out incident. today mom said he was better for her but still confused and a bit hard to understand. he slept alot. darrick, shannon, and i visited this afternoon and he was better???? still a little hard to understand and confused. he would tell us not to leave and then would look over my shoulder and say " when did dad get here...." then look back at us and say "dad died didn't he..." and then tear up. that broke my heart!!!! he wants to come home...thats all he talked about tonight...will i get to come home...when do i get to come home....will i die here...don't let me die here...I WANT TO GO HOME....we all try to reassure him that he needs to get stronger and then we'll try to get him home.

light switches.....i prefer them to stay ON.......

a very busy weekend

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IT'S BEEN A VERY BUSY WEEKEND. FRIDAY I SPENT MOST OF THE DAY AT THE HOSPICE HOUSE WITH DAD. WHEN I GOT HOME DARRICK SUGGESTED WE GO OUT TO EAT AND THEN SHOOT A GAME OR TWO OF DARTS ONLY TO FIND OUT SHANNON AND THE GIRLS FROM WORK HAD PLANNED A SURPRISE PARTY FOR ME. WHAT A FUN NIGHT!

SATURDAY WE GOT UP (WITH A HURTING HEAD I MIGHT ADD) AND WENT TO WINONA TO PICK UP JAKE. WHEN WE GOT BACK TO ROCHESTER WE HEADED UP TO THE HOSPICE HOUSE TO VISIT WITH DAD. HE WAS PRETTY GOOD A LITTLE SLEEPY BUT ENJOYED HAVING JAKE THERE. LATER THAT NIGHT DARRICK AND SHANNON WENT TO THE MMA AND BOXING FIGHTS TO WATCH SHANNON'S "BOYFRIEND" TOMMY SPEAR FIGHT.

TODAY WE AGAIN HEADED UP TO THE HOSPICE HOUSE AND VISITED WITH DAD. HE WAS VERY SLEEPY THIS MORNING. HE HAD A BUSY DAY YESTERDAY WITH VISITORS SO WE DIDN'T STAY LONG ( WANTED HIM TO GET HIS REST). Jake HAS JUST HEADED BACK TO WINONA HE HAS MID-TERMS COMING UP AND NEEDED TO GET SOME STUDYING DONE.

DARRICK HAS TAKEN THIS NEXT WEEK OFF AND I HAVE ALSO. WE PLAN TO SPEND AS MUCH TIME AS POSSIBLE WITH DAD AND TRY TO GIVE MOM A BREAK. SHE IS GETTING VERY TIRED AND NEEDS TO TAKE CARE OF HERSELF AS WELL.

I WILL KEEP YOU POSTED WITH DADS UPDATES IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS PLEASE FEEL FREE TO CALL ME

AGAIN LOVE YOU ALL

B-DAY PARTY

SHANNON AND THE GIRLS FROM WORK THREW ME A SURPRISE B-DAY PARTY LAST NIGHT. I WAS TOTALLY SURPRISED!!!! I HAD NO IDEA. I HAD ALOT OF FUN. IT WAS GREAT TO SEE OLD FRIENDS AND FAMILY. I AM SO LUCKY TO HAVE SUCH GREAT FRIENDS AND FAMILY. I LOVE YOU ALL VERY MUCH!!!! AND THANKS FOR THE GOOD TIME AND MEMORIES.

PS. A GOOD FRIEND TOLD ME THAT 40 IS THE KNEW 25 AND I THINK I LIKE THAT!!!!

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well dad has been at the hospice house now for 4 days. it seems alot longer. today was a good day. he was much more stronger and a little more easy to understand. still has times of confusion and talks about things from the past but he recognizes people and remembers when people have stopped by, even if he didn't seem like it at the time.
mom spent the night last night and she said he had a very restful night. he has been eating pretty decent the last couple of days and even ask me to bring him a cup of Caribou coffee.
dad is aware at times that he isn't at home and will look over at us and ask when he gets to go home or say" I want to go home". which is heart breaking to all of us because we know he's better off there, getting the 24 hour nursing care and mom also needs the rest.
We appreciate all the support and visits to dad. I will continue to keep you all updated.

Dad

update on dad....
Dad has moved to seasons hospice house. (At this moment he has know idea he's there.) After putting him on the list for a bed mom started having second thoughts and guilty feelings. But after last night she was totally on board with moving to the hospice house. Dad had a very bad night last, much confusion. Mom said he spent most of the night talking to someone she couldn't see. He was very fidgety and rambling a lot. When I arrived at their house this morning I had to call Darrick to come over before work because mom and I where unable to get him out of bed ourselves. The hospice staff arrived around 10 am and told us we had a bed and from there things moved quickly. Transportation was arranged, paper work was done, things were packed and we were off. Dad was given a little extra medication for the ride and looked like he actually enjoyed himself.
Seasons Hospice house is truly gorgeous. They have 8 beds and dads room is on the lower level with a view of the grounds. while we were unpacking a flock of HUGE wild turkeys walked right by his window. I can say I am very comfortable with him being there. They have a wonderful group of staff who checked in on him very often. I know many of you may want to visit and Seasons is very open to that, even though it may seem that dad isn't aware that your there, he knows, he has moments where he will look right at you do that silly smile of his and say "hey". If you want you can also call there for updates, however you will need to call mom first for the password to get information. thanks for all your love and well wishes. I will keep you updated as best as i can.

interesting weekend

what an interesting weekend...lets start with the good news...Shannon has moved home. She was fully moved in on Friday. All that's left to do now is get her cat to a friends house (Darrick's deathly allergic so Milo couldn't move in with us) Jake always came home for the weekend. It was so nice to have both kids under on roof, even if it was for only a little while.

Now for a little sad news...It was discovered that dad has had another TIA (mini stroke) Mom called me Saturday morning and asked me to come up because dad was irate and very confused. Shortly after getting there I called in reinforcements, meaning Liz (who made it from stewartville in record breaking time) and Darrick. After...well actually it was Darrick's presents that made dad calm down (wish I could take credit but I cant) The Hospice nurse arrived shortly after. Dad was given new medication and finally calmed completely down and fell asleep. The entire family rallied and we spent most of the day there. Liz and I spent the night, which is a good thing because dad has became to much for mom alone. He is very weak and confused. Losing muscle fast. It's very hard for mom, let alone 2 of us to move him around. We have asked the hospice nurse to put him on the list for a bed at the hospice house. For now any ways. keep him in your thoughts and prayers.

update on dad

we had dads doctor appointments yesterday and today. We met with Dr. Bible and looked at his x-rays. the tumor has grown, actually it has more than doubled in size since June. However the good news is it is still contained with in the wall of the lung. No spidering has occurred. The bad news is his left lung is almost all tumor. Dad has been having alot of pain the last couple of weeks and Dr. Bible said that is to be expected. They have upped his pain meds, which makes him a little confused and bewildered at times. We just have to be real careful as the weather turns now and make sure he doesn't get any colds or infections.

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we celebrated mom and dads anniversary last night at 'Party Cove' had a great meal and lots of laughs.

camping

we went camping this last weekend with mom and dad. had a great time. Dad and mom went down on Friday and us girls ( Liz, Vicky, and myself) came down on Saturday. we had a lot of fun, great bonding, and a lot of laughs. Dad tuckered out early so he was off to bed by 6:30 and we had a girls night.

Today I'm having a professional photographer come and take pictures of dad and mom. Dads all excited, mom not so much (she hates having her picture taken). It will be nice to have some current family pictures.

Dad is doing well, a little tired but over all continuing to be the stubborn Norwegian that he is.

Just wanted to give a SHOUT out to my friend Janet (who's doing the pictures) She is not only a FANTASTIC, CARING nurse, she is also the proud owner of a new business called


JANET JOHNSON PHOTOGRAPHY

I highly recommend her. She does a fantastic job. So if there's anyone out there that needs family photos, senior pics, baby pics, or what ever look her up!!!!

we made it

We got Jake all moved in to his dorm. It took most of the day ( or maybe we were going slow to put off saying goodbye ) Shannon got his desk area and food shelf nicely organized not realizing it's a guys dorm and probably wont look that neat an hour after we left. We got a chance to meet his roommate, Alex, and he seems very nice. (that's him in the pictures). Jake room was very cozy and home like when we left. It was still hard to say goodbye. Shannon and I held it together but Darrick...well not so much, which made all of us cry. Jake was pretty funny though as Darrick was giving him the last hug good bye all Shan and I heard was..."Damn it dad" and that's when we realized Darrick wasn't holding it together. (cute). We already miss him. The house seems so empty, (hint hint Shan you should move home)

This sucks!!!

Well Jake leaves tomorrow for college....He had some guys over last night as there last her ah. They had a good time tell this morning...and then the tears started...anyone that knows Jake knows he's a big stofty but looking from the outside you'd see an out going LOUD kid. With outgoing LOUD friends. But they were all reduced to a puddle of mush this morning. 4 boys, all 18, all baseball and football players, all well liked and looked up to kids, all A PART of our family, all crying because they're leaving each other for different colleges. The worse part is they come upstairs for a little support from me...yeah good idea...I was up there trying to hold it together myself that is till i saw them. I quickly turned into a puddle of mush to. So now I'm trying to tell them they'll see each other often and all that in between my sobs...I was a lot of help...NOT.
It SUCKS because I know this is part of growing up but I don't want them to leave...heck there's a 4 year college right down the road from us. Why can't they stay here...and live at home????



(tears are flowing again) I just gave Ryan D., Dan, and Ohly a hug good bye....wished them all the best, told them that Darrick and I are always here for them, and gave the Kleenex's.

I just realized why it's so hard saying good bye to these kids ( besides the fact that I love them . Jake's leaving too. Saying good bye to Shannon's friends was hard but thankfully Shannon stayed here to go to school. I didn't have to lose her too. She gradually moved out to her own house. ( I think while i wasn't looking. however I cried the night she fully moved out...you know the whole 5 blocks away) Maybe because he's the youngest or maybe because I get to see Shannon almost every day. I don't know just knowing that He's not here or even blocks away.

I don't like this, I don't like this at all. And yeah I have issues with letting go I get that. I want them to be little again, I want to wake up in the morning and find that Jake has crawled into bed with Shannon and their tucked under her "little Mermaid" comforter, sound to sleep. That's not to much to ask is it????

softball

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Well the summer is coming to a close. ( why is it summer goes so fast and winter seems to last forever???) Jakes mens "c" softball legue ended last week. They took 2nd overall. Shannon and Jakes "D" legue ended last night. They played 2 games, the first game they won 19-8 and the second game they lost 13-3. They did pretty good considering most of the girls had never played before.

We had to say good bye to one of Jake's best friends last night too, Ryan left for college this morning. It was really sad, Ryan has been a staple in the Kostel house for many years and now we wont get to see him very often. It's kinda strange thinking that all these boys we've known since they were little are grown "men" now. We're not just sending Jake off to college we're sending several of our "adopted" sons off to college. People keep telling us it's going to be so nice with all the kids gone, your house will be so quite....I don't like quite....since we had kids there was always "extra" kids in our house. We love that. Shannon and Jake's friends became part of our family. Many of them we've watched grow from awkward dorks to mature, responsible, loving adults! I'm not sure if I'm liking this part of our life. I know most people rejoice in there kid free Independence, I'm feeling...uncomfortable...I like having 12 kids in my house eating me out of house and home...really I do!!! I want them all to be 10 again...is that possible?

P.S. maybe i can get shannon to move back home with us...and bring a few freinds with her...=-)

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we took dad and mom to Jeff Dunham comedy show this last weekend. Mom laughed so hard she cried. He was very good!!!! On Tuesday Shannon's best friend Nicole brought her baby (Noah) over and we got to babysit for a while. I love babies!!!! Can't wait to be a grandma. Well OK i can wait but I'm looking forward to it!!!! love you all

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we HAD A CHANCE TO GO TO MINNEAPOLIS THIS WEEKEND WITH JUST THE KIDS. WE HAD A GREAT TIME. STAYED DOWN BY NICOLETTE MALL AREA. FRIDAY NIGHT WE WENT OUT TO EAT, HAD A FEW DRINKS, AND EVEN BOWLED A COUPLE OF GAMES ( I SUCKED!!!) SATURDAY WE WENT TO THE MALL OF AMERICA, DID ALITTLE SHOPPING AND THEN WENT TO THE TWINS GAME. IT WAS A GREAT WEEKEND.

Yep leave it to these two to find the "secret" entrance to whistle B'S

Camping buddies

Dad and moms camping friends decided to have a little get together for dad. They thought if dad cant come to them they'd come to dad... and so they did. Brought the band and everything. Dad had a great time seeing everyone. It was so nice of everyone to come and just hangout and enjoy each others company. (and the band!!)

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here's some pics from the weekend. over all it was pretty busy. Mom and Dad had a WILD party on they're deck saturday and sunday we celebrated my nephew Jeremys birthday

Some pics from our every "sunday catch up" at Whistle Binkies on the lake. I have to tell you all that I HAVE THE BEST HUSBAND EVER!!!! I woke up Saturday afternoon ( after working the night shift friday) and he had went out and bought me a new camara!!! Not that I needed a new camara, but i had said "i wish i had a small camara like Shannons to carry in my purse". And out of the blue he goes out and gets me one. He rocks, guess i should have said " i wish i had a new car like...so in so" he he.

Just an update on dad. we all went camping this weekend and dad got a lot of socializing done with fellow camping friends. He had a great time seeing eveyone and catching up. Unfortunately I think we over did it a bit...Sunday eveinng dad had a small episode. He started to swell up in his face, got hives and a rash, and his breathing was effected. Mom unfortunately decided NOT to call the hospice nurse and decided to handle it herself. He is fine today, however mom needs to realize that these things should be handled by calling the hospice nurses. Something that the hospice nurse is going over with her again... (because I called the nurse as soon as I found out, moms not happy with me...)pretty sure she still loves me though>. Just to reassure everyone dad is good today, being a pain in the ass as normal =-)

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SHannon has added to her family. She got a new baby girl pug. Now her family consists of Milo (her cat ) melia, and her.

camping pics

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we went camping this last weekend with the whole family had a great time,got really burnt, and a few of us got a little sick. to much sun!!! but worth every minute!!!

Happy july 4th (a little late)

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Hope every one had a safe and happy holiday!!! Darrick and I had a very relaxing weekend. Got out and golfed a little, did pretty good i must say!!!. Shannon worked all week end but we were able to go out Saturday and have dinner with her, Jake was out enjoying the holiday weekend with his girlfriend Nicole and he finally got his thank you cards done!!! Dad is doing well he had a little "men's" day on Saturday with the Baune clan. Which he enjoyed greatly. It's nice to see him smile and laugh!!!! Other than that not much new. Again I hope you all had a great weekend and continue staying safe this summer. Remember "we LOVE you all very much"

more grad party

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sorry got a few more pics off of shans camara.

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the kids are playing very well this year another win put in the books. remember if your ever bored come on down and have a few beers with us while we watch the kids play. Every friday night

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heres some pics from jakes grad party. we all had a great time. a big thank you to all that could make it

happy fathers day

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Happy fathers day to all those great dads out there!!! here's some pics from our day with dad.